Waggin' Tails Miniature Dachshunds

  [slightly changed from the internet posting]

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Average Pet Owner (Anywhere)

Thank you for contacting us animal rescuers, shelter volunteers, and foster-homes about your inability to keep your pet. We receive an extremely high volume of inquiries and requests to accept surrendered animals (and none of us is getting paid, OK?). To help us expedite your problem as quickly as possible, please observe the following guidelines:

1. Do not say that you are "CONSIDERING finding a good home" for your pet, or that you "feel you MIGHT be forced to," or that you "really THINK it would be better if" you unloaded the poor beast. Ninety-five percent of you have already got your minds stone-cold made up that the animal WILL be out of your life by the weekend at the latest. Say so. If you don't, I'm going to waste a lot of time giving you common-sense, easy solutions for very fixable problems, and you're going to waste a lot of time coming up with fanciful reasons why the solution couldn't possibly work for you. For instance, you say the cat claws the furniture, and I tell you about nail-clipping and scratching posts and aversion training, and then you go into a long harangue about how your husband won't let you put a scratching post in the family room, and your ADHD daughter cries if you use a squirt bottle on the cat, and your congenital thumb abnormalities prevent you from using nail scissors and etc., etc. 

2. Do not waste time trying to convince me how nice and humane you are. Your co-worker recommended that you contact me because I am nice to animals, not because I am nice to people, and I don't like people who "get rid of" their animals. "Get rid of" is my least favorite phrase in any language. I hope someone "gets rid of" YOU someday. I am an animal advocate, not a people therapist. After all, for your ADHD daughter, you can get counselors, special teachers, doctors, social workers, etc. Your pet has only me, and people like me, to turn to in his or her need, and we are unpaid, overworked, stressed-out, and demoralized. So don't tell me this big long story about how, "We love this dog so much, and we even bought him a special bed that cost $50, and it is just KILLING us to part with him, but honestly, our maid is just awash in dog hair every time she cleans, and his breath sometimes just reeks of liver, so you can see how hard we've tried, and how dear he is to us, but we really just can't...."   You are not nice, and it is not killing you. It is, in all probability, literally killing your dog, but you're going to be just fine once the beast is out of your sight. Don't waste my time trying to make me like you or feel sorry for you in your plight.

3. Do not try to convince me that your pet is exceptional and deserves special treatment. I don't care if you taught him to sit. I don't care if she's a beautiful Persian. I have a waiting list of battered and/or whacked-out animals who need help, and I have no room to foster-house your pet. Do not send me long messages detailing how Fido just l-o-v-e-s blankies and carries his favorite blankie everywhere, and oh, when he gets all excited and happy, he spins around in circles, isn't that cute? He really is darling, so it wouldn't be any trouble at all for us to find him a good home. Listen, we can go down to the pound and count the darling, spinning, blankie-loving beasts on death row by the dozens, any day of the week. And, honey, Fido is a six-year-old Shepherd-Lab mix. I am not lying when I tell you that big, older, mixed-breed, garden-variety dogs are almost completely unadoptable, and I don't care if they can whistle Dixie or send semaphore signals with their blankies. What you don't realize is that, though you're trying to lie to me, you're actually telling the truth: Your pet IS a special, wonderful, amazing creature. But this mean old world does not care. More importantly, YOU do not care, and I can't fix that problem.

All I can do is grieve for all the exceptional animals who live short, brutal, loveless lives and die without anyone ever recognizing that they were indeed very, very special.

4. For pity's sake, for the animal's sake, tell the truth and the whole truth. Do you think that if you just mumble that your animal is "high-strung," I will say, "Okey-doke! No problemo!" and take it into foster care? No, I will start asking questions and uncover the truth, which is that your cat has not used a litter box in the last six months, or that your dog goes into full-blown, severe separation anxiety whenever you leave him alone. Stop lying and wasting more of our time.

5. Don't cop an attitude. "We hope you'll realize what a deal you're getting and not ask us for a donation to help defray your costs. After all, this is (almost) a pure-bred animal, and we'll send the leftover food along with it. We get the food at Wal-Mart, too, and boy, it's a really good deal, price-wise."

"What do you mean you don't have room! We are very irritated that you haven't shown pity on us in our great need and take him immediately. I thought you were supposed to be humane!"

You are NOT exceptional - we've heard your story hundreds of times, and it never gets any easier to listen to. In short, this little old rescuer/foster momma has reached the point where she would like to scream if she heard another excuse like:

"We went to Wal-Mart and picked up a free pet in the parking lot a couple years ago. Now we don't want it anymore. And it might be getting sick; it's acting kind of funny."

"We don't have money for vaccinations or medical care."

"He won't stay in the yard."

"She ran off and came back pregnant."

"He barks too much."

"He is too excited all the time."

"He won't stay off the furniture."

"He jumps on the children."

"We can't housetrain him."

"He chews the furniture."

"He doesn't mind."

"We're moving and can't take him."

"We just had a baby."

"The kids have gotten tired of him."

"We're/child/baby is allergic to him."

"We don't have enough time for him."

6. And if you succeed in placing your pet in a shelter or foster care, do not tell yourself the biggest lie of all: "Those nice people will take him and find him a good home, and everything will be fine." Those nice people will indeed give the animal every possible chance, but if we discover serious health or behavior problems, if we find that your misguided attempts to train or discipline him have driven him over the edge, we will do what you are too immoral and cowardly to do: We will hold the animal in our arms, telling him truthfully that he is a good dog or cat, telling him truthfully that we are sorry and we love him, while the vet ends his life.

How can we be so heartless as to kill your pet, you ask? Do not EVER dare to judge us. At least we tried. At least we stuck with him to the end. At least we never abandoned him to strangers, as you certainly did, didn't you?

7. And for the love of God - PLEASE don't "get rid of" this poor animal, and turn right around and get another. This "revolving door" pet owner mentality of "out with the old, in with the new" stinks; and we know exactly what will happen....just start at the beginning of this letter.

Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Average Pet Owner, for your cooperation.

- Author Unknown, but could be any shelter worker, rescuer, or foster care provider.

Think the above excuses are out of the realm of reality?  I wish!  Those were the tamer excuses. Just look up any rescue organization and read the reasons those poor dogs were given up. Below are REAL excuses why dogs were given up:

"She's aggressive. She didn't used to mind it when my son pulled her around by her lip, but now that she's bigger she's started snapping at him."

"I found him in the kitchen."

"My fiance said that if we have kids that they would have an increased chance of developing asthma if there was a dog in the house."

"He stares us while we're on the couch"

"I became bored with the dog when it grew up, I want a puppy now."

"I have a family reunion this summer and I have to get my yard in shape for it and can't do it with a dog here."

"Dog is too stupid. No matter how much we hit him he never learns."

"He stands in front of the tv too much."

"I'm retiring and want to travel."

"Not housebroken." (had since 8 weeks old, and complaining that now it's an adult and unhousebroken!)

"Didn't know it would get so big."

"Didn't know it needed so much attention."

"I'm going to college."

"It's our son's pet but he's away at school now and we don't have the time."

"We got it for the kids but they won't take care of it."

"It needs room to roam. Keeps running off" (unfenced yard, no leash)

"He was a cute puppy, but now he's too big."

"Doesn't get along with our new pet."

"I don't love it anymore."

"Bought new home and dog doesn't go with new colours."

"Just got new furniture/carpet."

"We only had it for the kids and they're all grown up now."

"He chases the new kitten."

"He tracks mud all over the new carpet."

"She got lost, and we got a new one by the time she showed up at the pound, so we left her there."

"He (a twelve week old puppy) refuses to be housebroken, and we hit him everytime he goes in the house. I'm worried, 'cause you can only hit a dog so much before it turns vicious, and I'm afraid it will start biting the kids."

"She's seven years old now and can't make puppies anymore."

"She has seizures (allergies/hypothyroid/etc.) and we don't want to spend another penny on medication."

"We're remodeling our kitchen and didn't have time to train her, and now she's too rowdy."

"Received as a Christmas present - can't keep."

"She got herself pregnant - we're keeping her puppy."

"Keeps breaking the chain at her dog house."

"He won't stay at home, no matter how much I yell at him."

"We're putting the house up for sale and it won't show well with a dog."   

"Took him to Schutzhund, now he is too aggressive."

"Had a friend make him a guard dog, now all he wants to do is bite people."

"He won't defend me! My husband beat me and the kids, and the dog ran away!"

"She keeps having puppies."

"Always wants to be petted."

"Bumps into my legs and trips me."

AND - believe it or not:

"She got old and turned blind." 

Un-freakin'-believable.

I adopted your dog today

The one you left at the pound

The one you had for seven years

and no longer wanted around.

I adopted your dog today

Do you know he's lost weight?

Do you know he's scared and depressed

and has lost all faith?

I adopted your dog today

He had fleas and a cold

But don't worry none

You've unburdened your load.

I adopted your dog today

Were you having a baby or moving away?

Did you suddenly develop allergies?

Or another reason he couldn't stay?

I adopted your dog today

He doesn't play or eat much

He's very depressed

But he will learn again to trust

I adopted your dog today

And here he will stay

He's found his forever home

And a warm bed on which to lay.

I adopted your dog today

And I will give him all that he could need -

Patience, love, security and understanding.

Hopefully he will forget your selfish deed.

- Author Unknown